Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
