i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize