We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize