We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
