Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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