I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
