Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize