Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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