I cut my penus on the lid.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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