You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It all started with a game of naked twister.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
