I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
