i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize