Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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