I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
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