its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Semen is not good for contacts.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
