So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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