walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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