I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
