I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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