Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
