There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize