oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize