UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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