Non-Jews are for practice
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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