Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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