She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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