we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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