I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
