Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
