just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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