isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
