what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
