My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
