You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
