I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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