Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
