Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
