goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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