Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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