Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
