Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
