You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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