Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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