How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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