Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
