I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
