return my video game
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
