if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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