just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
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Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize