he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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