I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
