You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
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I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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