I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
