O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
