R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
thus making me awesome and them whores
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She told me I should be a condom model.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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