how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
