u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Mom said you looked used
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
