so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
