Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't deserve a penis
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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