she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
